Can we talk about smoothies for a second? As soon as the weather turns a relatively warm a.k.a. like The first time it goes above 45° in DC people are all like OMG smoothie time!! You know, making the green smoothies or green smoothie bowls and putting a bunch of little cute fruit and granola perfectly arranged on the top of it and taking a picture of it outside with whatever flowers are blooming already. You know those people too? You guys are great, you with your super fancy smoothie bowl concoctions. I may be making fun of you just slightly but secretly I’m just kind of jealous. How do people make green smoothies taste good? But actually. The last time I tried to make a green smoothie it literally tasted like grass. Like uncooked frozen kale and spinach and literally nothing else. Is that what those pretty ones taste like? Because if so I want nothing to do with them, no matter how adorable they are.
Another schtick I have with smoothies. Maybe it’s just me, because I have a ravenous appetite all the time…but if I have a smoothie for breakfast? I’m hungry .5 seconds after I finish it. I need some kind of protein in all my meals to keep me full. Seriously though. Like how is this a meal? And no I’m not talking about the kind of made that has 100 million different kinds of fruits in it so there are hundred million grams of sugar in it. My stomach is not happy with those. Also, good luck if you’re taking a blood sugar test after having one of those, thinking you’re being all healthy and sh*t… Your numbers are going to be through the roof my friend, sugar is sugar is sugar even if it comes from fruit!
Also, what about the whole chewing part of breakfast? I like chewing my food, not just drinking it and realizing that it’s gone before I even started. Unless drinking a frozen margarita counts as a meal, which it probably does… i’m totally down with those.
All that being said I’m still giving you a smoothie recipe today. LOL, jokes on you right? But seriously. For some reason, after my CrossFit workouts lately I’ve had zero appetite for at least two or three hours afterwards. Which is not great. Like um hello muscles…you need your fuel why aren’t you hungry?? So especially on the weekends, when we have morning workouts, I’ve been making this smoothie, and added some protein powder in to tide me over until I’m hungry for the next meal.
I don’t normally eat protein powder. But when I do, you’d better believe it’s in THIS smoothie.
You know by now I’m not the biggest smoothie fan…but this one. THIS ONE you guys. I luuuurve coffee. and chocolate. (um HELLO who doesn’t??) and staying full after my meals. and this does all three for me, thanks to my current fave protein: Rootz nutrition. Plus it’s freaking delicious. Yes, my swim team kids tell me it looks like sludge. Tastes like mocha heaven. Oh, and if you want the protein for a discount? Use code “realfoodwithdana” at checkout for 10% off!
Also, pro tip: Once your bananas start to brown too much, slice them up and put them in a tupperware in the freezer. Then you’ll never have to wait for them to freeze to make your smoothie!
- 4 oz strong coffee, chilled (or use cold brew!)
- 1 scoop your favorite protein powder (here's mine!)
- 1 small sliced frozen banana*
- 2 oz (about ¼ cup) almond or coconut milk
- 1 Tbsp cocoa powder
- ⅛ tsp sea salt
- Combine all the ingredients together in a blender, and let 'er rip! Add extra almond or coconut milk if it's too thick for you.
So tell me…what do you guys think about smoothies? Also, someone please help me in Remedial Green Smoothies 101. I’m hopeless!